Through the Storm
by 4footmouse
Summary: Getting past the awkwardness of their drunken fling to heal their friendship had taken Tommy and Mina weeks, but just as everything was getting back to normal an unintended complication once again tests their fragile relationship to its limit.
1. Chapter 1

Hey,

Sorry to anyone who was reading my other fic, to cut a long story short my laptop got stolen before I backed it up. Since I had 50 odd pages I really couldn't bring myself to restart it right now (still vaguely hope my laptop will magically return) so I started this. Its a random idea, nice and angsty. I would like to thank the lovely Miss Toughie for being my beta and helping me out and for the title idea, you're a star! Also I do have several chapters of this safe in my dropbox and email account so no losing all my work this time in case anyone is worried. I hope you enjoy.

Many thanks for reading

4ftM

**Chapter One**

Mina stood in front of the small bathroom mirror, studying her reflection carefully. Her usually pale skin had an almost gray tinge to it and the colour from her cheeks had faded. The cool water she had used to try and perk herself up had only succeeded in pasting stray stands of hair to her forehead. And five nights of precious little sleep tossing and turning had left angry mauve half moons under her icy blue eyes. In short, she looked as rough as she felt and there was no hiding it, questions were going to be asked.

The sound of knuckles rapping against the wooden door broke her train of thought. "You ok?" the overly concerned voice of her roommate called out from behind the bathroom door.

"Yeah… I'm good, just brushing my teeth." She didn't want to lie to her friend, but the bile was still bitter in her mouth and her head was spinning. The last thing she needed was probing questions from the other doctor. After all her symptoms were textbook, it would be less than five minutes before she got shocked and pitying stares from Lily. Then the inevitable questions would start. Questions she wasn't sure she even had the answers to herself.

Logically she knew everything had a failure rate, but it didn't stop her feeling angry about being the one to find it. It had taken so much effort, on both hers and Fuller's part, over the past few weeks to move past the awkwardness of their drunken fling. Their friendship had almost got back to where it was before their drunken romp in Zee's garden. Now she had no idea what would happen. But this wasn't the situation friends usually found themselves in, that was for sure.

Tipping her head back she drained the last mouthful of water from the plastic bottle, swishing it around her mouth in an attempt to rinse out the remaining bitterness before forcefully spitting it out into the cracked porcelain sink. The thought of going into the clinic caused fresh round of tears to well up in her eyes, but she refused again to give in to them as she used Lily's overly cheerful beach towel to dry her face with far more vigor than was actually needed. Looking up into the mirror again she cast one last lingering look at her now red face before taking a deep breath opening the bathroom door to face Lily and the jungle again.

"There you are" Lily said, worry evident in her gaze as she rushed to keep up with Mina who had already strode her way out to the veranda to start their walk to the clinic. "I am sorry for rushing you, I just didn't want to be late again, not with both Keeton and Clark being away. Anyway, we don't want Zee to be snarky the rest of the day either. Well any more so than usual." Lily smirked at her own joke, turning to look at her friend hoping that her moment of cattiness had lifted her spirits slightly. She didn't like what she saw as she looked at the blonde doctor, not one bit.

Lily was used to Mina's lack of animation, but this was something different. This last week her friend had been wandering around in some sort of daze. Even her usually meticulous practice was suffering. Twice yesterday Lily had found her staring blankly at the medicines in the small storeroom, completely oblivious to what was going on around her. When Lily shouted her name to pull her out of the daze she was in Mina simply smiled the smallest of grins, grabbed the medicine and disappeared out the door without a word. Lily had no idea what was bothering her friend, but something was and she was determined to find out what as she turned sharply towards the other woman grabbing her arm bringing them both to a sudden halt. Swinging her body around quickly so she was standing in front of her friend, physically blocking her from walking away from her before she could start her questioning.

"Mina, what's going on? Something is wrong, this isn't like you." Lily questioned ignoring the exasperated glare the other woman shot in her direction.

"Nothing's going on Lil. We are just running late this morning that's all," Mina said with a nervous laugh as she attempted to defuse the situation, raising the corners of her mouth into a grimacing smile. This was the last thing Mina wanted or needed this morning, her head was already a mess with jumbled emotions and thoughts. She seriously could not deal with this questioning no matter how well intentioned Lily was. Right now all she wanted to do was go treat patients that barely spoke enough English to answer her questions let alone ask her any in return. Failing that she would even relish a six hour surgery with Zee right now, their theatre conversations consisted of nothing more than 'pass me the…'. Yeah, that Mina could deal with.

Lily stared into her friends eyes, noticing the dark circles that stood out so starkly against her pale skin. "That isn't it and you know it. So please, Mina tell me so I can help." She said trying to stop Mina from walking away. "Mina!" She exclaimed as her friend wriggled free of her grasp and carried on striding towards the clinic.

Mina felt a wave of guilt as she shrugged herself out of Lily's grip, it wasn't that she didn't like the other doctor. Far from it, she had become Mina's surrogate family. Actually, Lily was more of a family member than any real one she had ever known when she thought about it. It was that her mind was so muddled, she didn't know if she started talking right now that she would be able to stop. Plus, Lily was also friends with Fuller, she knew that Lily would tell her to talk to him immediately and right now that was the last thing on earth she wanted to do.

She carried on walking for a few seconds before she realized that Lily wasn't following. Sighing deeply she stopped walking, but didn't turn around. "I am fine Lily, I just need time to work it over in my mind before I can talk about it to anyone else okay?" She said hoping that her friend would take the hint and drop it. Relief flooded her when she heard Lily's foot steps behind her.

Lily didn't want to drop it, she was beyond worried now. Something was going on with Mina, a woman who had swiftly become not only her friend, but the one of the best friends she had, in the jungle and beyond. She honestly wanted to help her, but pushing Mina into telling her something she didn't want to wasn't going to help any. "Ok Mina, I will drop it for now but I'm still worried. You look really ill and I know something is bothering you." Lily watched as Mina's shoulders tensed at her words but the other woman didn't turn around, so she continued. "But I am here for you, day or night. You can trust me okay?"

Mina stared into the distance the green foliage blurring with yet more tears. She couldn't turn around and show Lily she was crying, she wouldn't drop it then. Blinking hard she nodded her head. "Okay, Lily." she replied as she continued to the short walk to the clinic hoping that her tears would dry before she got there as she really couldn't take anymore questioning from anyone, especially not him.

-/-/-/-/-

To say Mina's morning had gone badly would be one hell of an understatement. First it was Lily's twenty questions and worried looks all the way to the clinic, now it was a drunken miner who kept trying to pinch her ass. Today was not her day, but any day that started with vomiting was never going to end well she mused. Foolishly, she had believed at the beginning of her shift that her luck was starting to look up when she had three easy patients in a row. Not one of them had been at all talkative and all completely fixable; it had made a very welcome change. Even the concerned stares cast in her general direction had stopped as Lily had been called straight into theatre to assist Otis and even better for her, Fuller had been placed on cleaning duty somewhere with Charlie. She honestly couldn't believe how much her luck had changed, even going so far to send a whispered prayer to God for cutting her a break.

She realized soon after she shouldn't have wasted her breath when the next chart she picked up was without a doubt a plastic's case. To make matters worse, the patient was drunk, leery and had a collection of English phrases that would make even the most hardened sailor blush. His so-called 'friends' were no better either. The one with a better grasp of 'English', if you could call it that, had explained through fits of absolutely hysterical laughter that the ultra leery one in the corner, who licked his lips suggestively as she gazed over to him, dared the literal pain in her ass twenty dollars that he couldn't crush a beer bottle in his hand… She hoped the twenty dollars was worth it as she excavated another piece of brown broken glass out one of the deeper lacerations in his palm. Any hopes of being able to stitch it back together herself fading rapidly as she saw the exposed and severed tendons. He was going to require Tommy's skills and there was no doubt about it, well if he wanted to use his hand again that was. She had then wondered if it would be that much of a loss.

Grudgingly she had found herself accepting that her only course of action was to get Tommy to fix the massive tendon and nerve damage and resigned herself to the fact her day was going to take a swift nosedive. Then just as she was about to finish cleaning the wound she suddenly leapt up from the surgical stool she was sitting on like she had been burnt. The final glass fragment she had been holding skittering across the floor as she dropped it in fright. "Oi! Keep your filthy hand to yourself; otherwise, you'll lose the other one! _Comprende_?" Mina shouted whilst glowering at him. She had been so engrossed on the wounded palm she had failed to notice his other hand snaking behind her towards her bottom, for the third time. Until he had pinched her ass hard that was. Continuing to scowl at the three perverts who were now openly gawking at her, she unceremoniously dropped the surgical tweezers into the steel kidney bowl and ripped the bloody latex gloves off, tossing them down. "Stay here, I need to get another doctor," she told the patient jabbing her index finger in his direction with every word for emphasis. She needn't have bothered saying anything she realized when her only response was three identical blank looks back. Shaking her head in despair at the lack of comprehension, she grabbed the chart and pushed the curtains out of her way as she went to get their resident plastics expert.

She was still fuming she stalked down the clinic corridor looking for the absolutely last person she wanted to see right now and she couldn't help but mutter to herself about using Zee's machete to cut both the drunken ass grabber's hands off. Then she wouldn't need to be walking down the clinic she mused, as she was sure she could fix two stumps well enough without Tommy's help. It would be poetic justice for the grubby pervert she mentally reasoned, as she continued her search for the plastic surgeon.

When she finally heard his voice for the first time that day her heart froze and her stomach felt like it had dropped several feet though the floor. She couldn't help but stop and lean against the wall as she tried to pull herself back together. Taking some deep breaths, she mentally tried to convince herself she could do this. She needed his help as a doctor and colleague. All she had to get though was a quick five minute handover with him before he would be stuck in theatre for several hours and she would have time to think. Free from any disruption so she could sort her thoughts long enough to work out what she was going to do, she silently hoped. Happy with her plan of action, she finally pulled herself away from the wall and walked towards the theatre one doorway and his voice.

"Fuller, have you got…" Mina let the sentence trail off as she watched the scene in front of her in shock. Both Fuller and Charlie were on the surgical stools scooting them around the empty theatre each brandishing a crutch they were using to hit a very grubby looking roll of bandage across the floor. Anger bubbled within her uncontrollably and all thoughts of the grabby miner flew right out of her head. Here she was pregnant and he was playing some warped hockey game like a child. Stupid man-child, she fumed to herself, she was pregnant by a guy who had the mental capacity lower than the average five year old. The very thought made her feel nauseous.

By the time Fuller noticed she was standing at the doorway she was beyond angry. "Hey Dr. Minard! How can we help you?" He called out barely taking his eyes off the game he was playing with Charlie, flashing her what he hoped was his best cheeky grin. It was something he would later regret, because if he had looked he wouldn't have missed the clearly pissed off expression on her face.

"How. Can. You. Help. Me." She kept her voice slow and deliberate, pausing after each word as she mocked him. "You know what, I was going to ask you if you could treat someone. You know as a doctor, but it looks like you are _really_ busy with other much more pressing engagements. So don't let me keep you." There was so much anger and disdain in her tone, that she hardly recognized the voice as her own. It made her feel strangely detached from her actions and it didn't help that her rant had caused her vision to sway and increased her nausea to the point she was honestly worried that she was going to physically vomit right there and then. But despite this, the uncontrollable rage she felt wouldn't let her leave it at that.

She slammed the chart she was holding onto the stainless steel surgical trolley next to her, sending several surgical catheters flying. The sudden noise stopping both boys dead in their tracks as two very worried and sheepish pairs of eyes started to nervously track her every move. "Actually do you know what Dr. Fuller? No… No _you _cannot help _me_. In fact just stay the hell away from me." she said her voice escalating to a full on shout before she stormed out of the clinic past the confused looks of the patients in the waiting area.

The theatre was silent for an entire minute before Charlie dared to speak. "Whoa, amigo. What did you do to Dr. Minard?" Charlie quizzed his companion in confused amusement. "Not been playing more board games with her have you?"

Fuller might have missed the wink Charlie added to the end of his jibe as he was staring at Mina's back, but he certainly didn't miss the undertone as he rushed to correct him. "Hell no Charlie. Me and Mina, I mean Dr. Minard, are just friends, nothing more. The… _board games_ were a one off mistake." Fuller said as he stood up to retrieve the chart the angry blonde had slammed down just seconds before.

"Yeah, because that looks so friendly to me gringo!" Charlie snorted in response watching as the older guy stood there his confusion clear on his face as he looked towards the door. Fuller collected his thoughts quicker than Charlie expected and he started to follow Mina before Charlie got any real jibes in.

"Just remember, no more board games!" Charlie called out after the retreating doctor unable to let the opportunity of getting in one last dig pass him by. Earning himself a quick glare and an order to clean the mess up from a now angry Fuller who was quickly running in the direction Minard had taken off in. Charlie sat alone in the now empty room for a few minutes before he reluctantly got up from the stool. " Its not like it was even my idea in the first place" Charlie muttered to no one as he started to clean up the mess he and Tommy had made. Sometimes he thought, his life sucked.

-/-/-/-/-

Mina couldn't remember the last time she had raised her voice, let alone been so angry. She wasn't even sure why, but Fuller's childish behavior had really riled her. It was like a red flag to a bull. Her anger was short lived though. Now all she felt was drained and tearful and the overwhelming dizziness and nausea had forced her to stop running. She had crouched down at bush level bracing her hand on her knee while taking some deep breaths as she attempted to relieve the nausea and stop the dry wrenching. It was too late though as she started to empty what little was in her stomach into the long grass.

She had been there less than five minutes when she felt Tommy's hand rubbing her back and scraping the hair from her face. Thankfully for her, he didn't say anything, just kneeling wordlessly down next to her. Not that she was at all surprised by his presence, as she knew Tommy would follow her. How could he not after the scene she had made? But even though she expected him, it didn't make her dread seeing him any less. She was so worried that he might ask the right questions and everything would come spilling out her mouth.

"You know, you could have just said you felt unwell. I would have helped you with the patients if I had known," he said softly rubbing her back.

She didn't know what to say. Irrationally she was worried that he just knew, but he didn't look frightened enough. It took her several attempts before she managed to break the silence again. "It's just a stomach-bug." It was a lie, a massive, huge lie and she didn't need to see his face to know that he was about to quiz her further especially after her outburst. Realizing that she couldn't let him think too much about it as he had gone to medical school after all, well just enough to get his license anyway. She knew he would figure it out himself if she wasn't careful, so she took another deep breath determined to throw him off the scent.

"The nausea, it came on so suddenly, you remember there was that D and V case I had yesterday. I must have caught it. I was feeling just fine this morning." She rambled on ignoring the little voice in her head that was calling her a liar. "I will be fine, I just need fluids and rest. But please you have to go treat the miner with the hand laceration there are exposed tendon sheaths on his index and ring fingers which will need treated in the next hour otherwise there will be permanent damage."

Tommy studied her carefully while he listened to her ramble away. She really did look unwell, but illness alone failed to explain her outburst at him and Charlie earlier. Sure they were being childish, but her reaction was completely out of character for Mina, it was like she had channeled Zee. There was far more to the whole situation than she was letting on. Of that he was certain and it worried him. It really worried him, as did the depth of feeling he had developed towards his blonde housemate as it was beyond anything he had ever felt towards any woman before. He was literally fighting the overwhelming desire to pick her up and carry her back to her bed, not in a sexual way either, but just to monitor her and make sure she was okay. It took a lot to push the urge down and not give into it. So instead he stared at her quizzically knowing Mina well enough to understand that was more likely to get her to talk if he didn't push her into it.

His silent stare unnerved her, she liked it better when people asked her questions so she could flat out avoid them, but the prolonged silence was making her want to tell him everything just to break the silence. Then she noticed the slightly skeptical look on his face and realized that her convincing so far had not had the desired effect, forcing her to change tack. "He kept pinching my butt." She said, relieved when she saw a look of amusement on his face. It spurred her on. "He was drunk with two other just as drunk miners. And they kept gawking at me and their language, it was awful. Literally it was turning the air blue." She stopped briefly to wipe her mouth and stand up in the hope that she would prove to him that she was okay before continuing. "So I was trying to treat him and he kept pinching my butt. Then I had to go and get you because I couldn't fix it as surgery in general has never been my thing. I found you playing hockey, by this point I was already feeling sick and I was so angry. It just tipped me right over the edge and I snapped. Sorry."

He watched as she flushed red as she admitted what had happened and he felt awful. It wasn't that he had wanted to leave her alone, but their working relationship had started to get visibly strained again this past week prompting Cole's warning for him not to go near Mina while he was in theatre with Brenner. Then Charlie had looked so bored cleaning, he had to cheer him up. He hadn't meant for Mina to be alone in the clinic with drunk people molesting her. Rage flashed though him when he realized that someone had touched her without her permission. He seriously wanted to hack the guys hands off and not even try to help him, but he knew it was too late for that. The only thing he could do now was check Mina was okay and beg for forgiveness later.

"No Mina, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you alone. It was stupid of me." He said as he put his arm around her. "I'll walk you back home, then I'll go fix the hand and tell the others that you won't be in for the next few days."

He proceeded to walked her all the way back to their shared house making sure she had fluids and any of the medicines she might need. But all his fussing didn't stop the concerns that were developing about how quiet and withdrawn she had gotten again. He could swear that there was something far more to this than what she was saying. Things just were not adding up in his head. He almost went to ask before he left, pausing ready at the door, but stopped himself. He knew that if he did so now that he was risking having her stop talking to him completely outside of the clinic and that wasn't what he wanted, so he kept on walking back towards the clinic.

Mina felt such relief when Tommy finally left her and went back to the clinic to treat the miner, she could swear it was almost palpable. She had been sure for a minute at the end he was going to push her further for some reason to her actions and she wasn't ready for that. Even though she was more than acutely aware that time was ticking away quickly for her to make a decision and that to do that properly she technically should tell him as soon as possible. Yet, when it came down to it she was a coward, because as far as she was concerned right now any parental rights Tommy may have, paled almost into insignificance when compared to the complete and utter blinding maternal fear she herself felt right now.

-/-/-/-/-


	2. Chapter 2

Hey! Thanks for reading. I hope you all enjoyed Off the Map yesterday, wow at Tommy and Mina, I love their effortless chemistry and their quips with each other! I have no doubt that they will get together sometime soon, even if toe dude got in the way tonight because if he hadn't I am not sure Tommy would have got to the same conclusion so quickly. I loved seeing Brett Tucker (the Ben's Aussie doctor friend) again though, I was a massive fan of McLeod's Daughters when I lived in Australia, although I wish he'd kept his hat from that! - . (Brett, because seriously he can leave his hat on...)

I hope you enjoy the next chapter, many thanks to my beta Miss Toughie who takes the time to correct my mistakes even when her life is hectic!

4ftM

**Chapter Two**

Tommy knew something was wrong where Mina was concerned from her first outburst over the chair hockey with Charlie. But his real doubts hadn't started nagging until he had finally managed to drag her out to spend an evening at the Cantina a few days later and she refused her usual drink. Now it wasn't that Tommy hadn't believed her back when she said it was the stomach flu, but her sudden change of behavior towards him alongside her outburst last week, coupled with the sickness that hadn't abated and her sudden reluctance to drink… Well let just say he hadn't needed his medical license to figure that particular equation out. The real burning question now was why she hadn't told him, or worse whether she was planning on telling him at all.

The revelation that Mina was more probably than not pregnant really knocked him for a six and bothered him all evening. He literally could not take his eyes off her, noticing all the subtle and not so subtle clues. What was worse was that she hadn't even noticed him staring. In fact, she hadn't looked in his direction all evening, avoiding eye contact with him at all costs. He thought back realizing that she had been doing that for the past month, starting at exactly the same time that all the progress they had made had not only stalled but gone into reverse as she started avoiding him. Now it made sense, but they were meant to be friends and friends didn't hide things like this from one another.

He struggled to contain the anger at the thought that she had known for at least a month and still not told him, not even when they were alone together. It drove him to start drinking more than he knew he should and it wasn't long before his drunken self needed to physically get her to say it, to admit she was pregnant. So even though he knew he shouldn't, he ordered her an alcoholic drink on his next round.

Clumsily he placed the drinks down on the table with less finesse than he hoped triggering an eye roll from Mina. A flash of rage went straight though him when he realized she was judging him. Whilst hiding her pregnancy with his child she was_ judging _him. It made him angrier that before and even more determined to get her to tell to truth. "Cheers" he said bitterly as he watched Mina take a drink.

"This has got alcohol in it Fuller!" The anger on her face was unmistakable as she slammed the drink back down on the table. "I told you I didn't want to drink tonight. What the hell is going on with you." she ranted finding her purse to get herself a different drink.

"It's fine Mina, its just one drink" he said as he pushed it back in her direction.

She stood up and pushed the glass so roughly back across the table that the dark liquid slopped over the sides. "I said no Fuller."

"Why?" he said looking her directly in the eyes challenging her. He wanted her to say it, to tell him, to admit that she was pregnant with his kid.

She cast her face to the ground under his intense stare shaking her head before replying "Because I don't want to, that's why."

He laughed bitterly, if she was going to play with him then game on, but he was going to win. "Bullshit, you can't waste the drink. Now sit down and drink it." He said as he grabbed her arm trying pulling her back down. Aware that he was being harsher to her than he had originally intended as his anger had well and truly got the better of him.

"No, Tommy!" she said as she desperately trying to free her arm from his vice like grip. "You're hurting me, I said I wasn't going to drink the damn drink."

"And I asked why!" he roared as he stood up his voice carrying clear over the music, instantly alerting Brenner to the escalating tension between the two of them. "So tell me why Mina!" He said grabbing her other arm trying in vain to catch her eye. Annoyed when she instantly looked at the ground.

"Fuller!" Lily shouted as she tried to remove his hands from Mina's arms. "What the hell are you doing, let go of her. Have you lost your mind?" Lily said now slapping his hands away from her friend.

"No" He said eyes widening in hurt as his eyes snapped back and forth between Lily and Mina. "No Mina, don't tell me you told Lily and not me. Tell me you have not told her." His voice broke as he realized Mina hadn't trusted him at all.

Lily was confused and she was getting more aware of the audience they were attracting as she grabbed his arm and looked into his eyes. "Look, Tommy I have no idea what you two are going on about, but Mina hasn't told me anything. So please lets go home now. We can discuss this later when you are sober." She begged the drunken doctor.

Tommy couldn't believe it both his so called 'friends' were lying to his face. "I can't believe you'd lie to me to Lily." He was barely able to contain the tears that were pricking at his eyes.

Mina couldn't believe what was going on, one minute he had been fine then suddenly he knew and he was angry. Really angry. Her mind was reeling, completely unsure if he was angry because she hadn't told him or simply because she was pregnant in the first place. This wasn't how she imagined telling him, but it had got way past the point of admitting the truth, not if she wanted to salvage some part of her friendship with him that was. "No one knew Tommy…. I didn't tell anyone." she almost whispered as salty tears slipped unchecked down her cheeks.

"Knew?" Tommy said his brain working overtime, there was no way she had got an abortion without him knowing between last week and now, was there? He just didn't know. "You mean, your not now?" He said his words so quiet they slipped below the blaring music of the Cantina.

She saw the confusion and hurt on his face as she shook her head finally looking him in the eye. "No, I am… still. You know..." She admitted awkwardly.

"Still what?" Lily said in complete confusion looking back and forth between her two friends. Then it suddenly clicked. "Ohhh, you mean…" She didn't know what to say it was unexpected. "Umm, well wow. But really guys, lets go back now, we need to talk about this somewhere else." She said suddenly very uneasy and hyper-aware of the crowd of locals that had gathered to watch the live American soap opera.

Tommy didn't move frozen with Mina's last phrase echoing in his head. _No I am still_. There was a part of him that had hoped he had added one and one together and got four, that he was wrong in his assumption. That he really had not got his friend, housemate, colleague, _Mina_ pregnant. Despite his blatant womanizing ways this wasn't a situation he had been in before. He had always thought it would be something he would plan with some trophy wife when he was a lot nearer to forty.

Suddenly, he realized where he was and the crowd that was staring at them. His eyes focused in on the now crying Mina and the blatantly shocked and flustered Lily who was trying to guide her gently back towards their house.

He knew he should walk back with them, discuss the bombshell further, but he couldn't bring himself to. "I'll catch you up," he shouted but he wasn't sure who he shouted it to, or where he was going as started walking away from them and back towards the clinic.

-/-/-/-

For hours Tommy wondered aimlessly down the jungle tracks, his head reeling from the alcohol and Mina's confession. It was like his entire world has been tipped on it's axis and he no longer knew which way was up. Less than a day ago the possibility hadn't even registered on his radar, now everything had changed.

He was going to somebodies father. The very thought made his heart-rate go through the roof and a cold sweat break out. It was odd, even to his own mind, that even though he was adult enough to be trusted with other peoples lives on a daily basis, he himself didn't feel old enough to be a father. It wasn't like he was fifteen, but part of him felt like a scared teenager. He thought back to what his two older brothers were like with his many nieces and nephews and couldn't imagine himself in their places. They were both undeniably great fathers and even though he hadn't spoken to either of them since he had left the states he found himself desperately wanting to now. Maybe they had faced the same fears, but he doubted it. They were both military like his father so he was pretty sure neither of the decorated veterans feared something so mundane.

Sitting down heavily on a rock he took a look around the area in the now dawning light. It took him a few minutes until he started to recognise his surroundings, realising he was less than five minutes away from their shared house. He was silently glad that at least part of him knew what the right thing to do was. If he was scared he wondered what it was like for her.

He regretted thinking about her instantly because it was like a bucket of ice water to the face. His hazy alcohol fueled self-centred thoughts and worries vanished in a second. He had shouted at her and grabbed her. Oh god, he couldn't believe what he had done. On the scale of stupid things he had done in his life time, this topped it all and he was no stranger to foolish behaviour. But he had made his housemate, his colleague and friend cry, whilst she was pregnant by him none the less. He was glad his father and brothers were not around because this actions of last night were not those of the man he was raised to be. They would kick his sorry ass and he would deserve it. In fact he wished someone would, although he was pretty sure Cole was going to as soon as word got back to him. He knew he needed to make it better with her as he snapped a blade of grass tearing it into little green pieces as he thought. He sat there silently for an hour until he came up with a suitable plan. Then he ran all the way back to the clinic, even thought he knew in the larger scheme of things what he was planning on doing would do little to fix the hurt he had caused. He had to start somewhere though and this was something.

Trees passed him in a great blur of green and he was glad that it was still early, only five am by his watch, so he was sure would be able to get there and back before she woke. Testament to his determination he got to the clinic quicker than he expected clattered up the wooden stairs out of breath, his chest heaving as he tried to draw in as much air as possible to make up for the lack of oxygen he could feel his muscles aching for. He was thankful Keeton and Clark were away as he would have a hard time explaining his disheveled drunken state and tear stained face. Not pausing to think he went straight to the staff fridge hoping there was still one left. He wasn't disappointed when he opened the large white door and saw it sitting alone on shelf. Wasting no time he grabbed it before rushing off to the storeroom. By the time he was finished at the clinic ten minutes later he had an armful of stuff.

His journey back was harder, with every step taking him one closer to her and the mess he had no idea how to put right. He almost stopped so many times, each time wanting to drop the stuff on the path, pack his things and fly back to the States. So far away from the jungle and all the complications it had brought crashing into his life. Yet every time this crossed his mind he hated himself a little bit more because he knew this wasn't a problem he could run from. He wanted to believe he was better man, but the urge to run was almost overpowering. Everything was changing and he had no control. As any semblance of his control had been lost one night and now it was all in her hands, she had the power to change his entire future. It scared him more than he cared to admit even to himself.

Despite his fears and anxiety he finally made it all the way up the well worn path from the clinic to the steps of their shared house. And ignoring the temptation to grab his own stuff and run, he had to forced himself to walk into her room. Knowing instantly that he'd made the right decision when he saw her in bed asleep; she looked so young and so troubled. As he sat down on the floor next to her bed he knew deep down that he'd never leave her and that made him feel better than he had all evening. Now he just had to try make this right again and all he could do was hope and wait.

-/-/-/-/-

Mina awoke with a start, her head pounding from all the crying she had done last night. She couldn't even remember falling into a fitful sleep, the last thing she remembered was Lily laying behind her stoking her hair telling her it would be okay. There had never been a time in her life she could remember ever crying as hard as she had last night. She hadn't even been able to physically say as word as the tears fell uncontrollably down her face. Staring at the ceiling she felt the tears prick at her eyes again as she saw the now familiar mosquito net, there was no way that the jungle was just a bad dream and she was still in Boston. After several long seconds she rolled over with a sigh, determined to keep up appearances.

"Hold on." His voice was soft and he looked as broken as she felt, it didn't stop the wave of anger that she felt seeing his face again after he ran off last night.

"You have a nerve." She ground out as she struggled to get up from her bed. But his reactions were quicker than hers as he jumped up from the floor by her bed and gently raised his hands up careful not to touch her. "Don't get up so fast, I have something for you it'll help with the sickness." He said as picked up the ginger ale he had stolen from Cole's stash and the crackers from the store room he had placed onto her bedside table earlier.

She wanted to shout at him, but the sincerity and shame in his eyes stopped her. He looked genuine and she couldn't face another morning of staring down the aging toilet bowl with its decades worth of limescale. Sitting up slowly she moved the mosquito netting and took the items careful not to touch him or meet his eyes. She knew it was petty but his actions last night were too fresh in her mind, he deserved it she reasoned.

He watched as she nervously nibbled on the crackers and sipped at the ginger ale knowing she was avoiding looking at him. Not that he blamed her, he wouldn't want to look at him either. He knew he should say something while she was a captive audience but looking at her started to cause his heart to race and his palms to sweat. His mind struggling to accept that while she physically looked no different, well apart from a bit worn down, she was different. He couldn't reconcile the two conflicting visions together in his head. First there was Mina, his friend, colleague and housemate, a woman who he'd secretly hoped given time would be more than that, now he didn't know ever would be. Then there was 'it' all nine weeks of it, no bigger than a grape which now connected him to her like an invisible bond. It sounded selfish even in his own thoughts but he'd hoped their shared bond would be more akin to love right now rather than this. Although, he mentally kicked himself for it as she obviously hadn't asked for nay of this this either.

"I'm sorry." He hadn't realised he'd actually said anything until she looked at him, but he meant it. He was sorry, because somewhere between giggling about old lady spit and waking up to Zee's angry rant he had made a mistake. Too late, too rushed, too much fumbling there was hundreds of things they could have done to make the condom ineffective. The worst of it was he was too drunk to have even the slightest clue which. '_That should have been good reason enough not to have been doing it in the first place'_ said the stern voice in his head that sounded awfully like his mother's and he couldn't help but agree.

Draining the rest of the ginger ale she watched as he got lost in thought. She wanted so badly to hate him right now, but it took two at the end of the day. Even if she really wanted to be really angry at his reaction, she couldn't make herself do so. It was her that had put off telling him for over a month even when she had ample time and opportunity. She didn't know when it had all got so complex and the silence between them seemed to stretch on. There was so much to say and too much to discuss. Neither could find the words to start out this conversation.

"Tommy?" She said as her eyes welled up with more tears.

She saw him look up in what looked to her as hope before he answered "Yeah."

"I'm scared." And with those words the walls that she had put up that past month crumbled and the tears came down, but she wasn't alone as his arms surrounded her as if shielding her from an invisible foe. She had no idea how long they stayed like that but what she was sure of for the first time in weeks was that she wasn't going to be alone and that felt beyond good.


End file.
